Infidelity is such a strange thing. On the one hand, it seems to be a catalyst to most divorces. On the other hand, it's not talked about as openly as it is prevalent, so it feels like it's only happening to YOU.
I want to recommend you listen to the following two podcast episodes. If only to feel less alone if your marriage is ending or has already ended due to infidelity by your spouse.
Glennon Doyle is an author and creator of the high-impact popular podcast "We Can Do Hard Things." In her recent podcast with Jen Hatmaker, Jen (and everyone on the podcast) gets real about the shock of a marriage ending seemingly overnight. While Jen does not disclose the reason for her divorce, I have strong suspicion based on her disclosures about her experience, that an affair was at play. ("My story isn't new... its old and its boring. Men, can we get a new story, please!?" she says at one point).
Listen to Glennon and Jen's episode: Jen Hatmaker: What We Win When We Lose It All on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts.
The preceding podcast episode on Jen's popular podcast For the Love is also worth listening to. In this episode Jen sits down with two of her closest friends. All of their marriages ended because of or with infidelity in the mix. There is a strong faith-based foundation to each of their marriages, so if that's not resonant with you, listen for what is. Certain themes discussed in the podcast, like codependency and doing all the work to repair when your spouse isn't making the same effort, are extremely common.
There's something profound about knowing you're not alone. That you didn't uniquely fail or do something wrong to have the experience you're having or did have of your marriage ending due to the trauma and shock of an affair. I hope these episodes have something for you. Because you are NOT alone.
Lauren provides boots-on-the-ground lived experience combined with invaluable professional expertise working with infidelity. She is committed to helping individuals and couples deal with and heal from marital affairs in a highly effective, yet warm and judgment-free style.
Lauren's articles help share much-needed information, and reduce the stigma and shame around the common experience of infidelity. Contact Lauren at lauren@theaffairtherapist.com to learn more about working together.
Lauren, Affair Specialist